Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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