If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize