I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
