my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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