so explain again why im purple
no
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
