Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
