forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
