my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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