I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
