His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Boobs speak an international language.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
