I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
