Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize