marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
