Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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