I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize