is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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