THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
