I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ketchup is God's man juice
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
