She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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