We named our party play list daddy issues
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
