i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Small penises have feelings too.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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