dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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