Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
