you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize