I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
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im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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