I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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