girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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