I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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