She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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