Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
