That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
