dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
