peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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