ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
