if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
