Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
