We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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