yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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