He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
