I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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