Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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