Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
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Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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