genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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