Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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