her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
