So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
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He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't deserve a penis
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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