I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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