Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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