she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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