normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
