Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
