so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
