Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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