Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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