he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
