do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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