I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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